It's been a hectic day. Going to sleep at 4:00 AM and waking up at 11:45 AM didn't allow for much sleep, but I can't help it. Anyway, today has been the first real day of job hunting. Today, alone, I put my resume at Radio Shack, application at Office Max, and went to the Texas Workforce Commission to look for jobs. I got one good lead at the hospital for a Material Clerk, which I am going to turn in tomorrow since it was too late today. I also got the phone number for the college, who I will try and call tomorrow.

However, tomorrow won't be an easy day, either. I have to be at the Clarksville MHMR tomorrow morning at 9:30 AM just to have another screening, but perhaps I can talk to a doctor or something about this desyrel/trazedone stuff. I just hope they'll listen. For once, I'm not wanting medications to "feel good" on or whatever, I want medications to help me through life and make things a bit easier. Hopefully my Dr. will understand this, because I will be quite truthful with him... Well, that is if I can see him tomorrow.

So anyway, I'm praying something good will come out of all of this. I'm honestly trying as hard as I can, and I don't want to lose our house. Maybe it was my mistake of quitting in the first place? Oh well, doesn't matter now, that's the past and now we're looking at the future. So, that's all for now. I hope you enjoyed reading this blog as much as I enjoyed writing it. Love to all!

It's been a crazy week, weather wise. Hot one day, cold the next. Rain every other day. High winds some days, calm others. Fall weather, got to love it. Yesterday, it was very windy, but I made sure to get some leaf blowing in, finally. I haven't been able to really use it since buying it, so I just said screw it and did some of Anna's yard.

The MHMR is really kindof upsetting me. They have been in such disorder since I came in that it's not even funny. They gave me trazedone, a pill I don't like, under the brand name Desyrel, which I was unfamiliar with since I'm a cheap-o and only buy generics. I've told nurse after nurse and caseworker after caseworker that I don't want it and will not take it. They gave me a sample bottle of 30, which I will not take because it makes me all funny-headed the next day. I have an appointment next week, maybe I can straighten things out then, if only I can actually see a doctor.

Well, if I don't blog again by Thanksgiving, I hope everybody has a good one. I'll see you all later!

What a week. Monday, I'm in Terrell, Friday, I'm out. Not by Dr.'s orders, of course. I got out because of the judge, who put me in outpatient rather than inpatient. I feel like this is the best thing for me, since Terrell was nothing of a help to me. Just a place to get medication is all it was, but I can do that in outpatient as well. All I can say is that it's good to be free. The Dr.'s seem to think I'm a serious threat to myself and others, but they know nothing. I wouldn't do anything to hurt myself or anybody else, and any close friend or relative can vouche for that. Silly Dr.'s have too much time on their hands. Well, anyway, I'm feeling better, just knowing that I'm free. I wish in maybe one way or another that I was still there, though, just to help other people along and talk to them.

Well, anyway, I'm out for today. I hope you can all can stay more sane than I can, heh.

Well, I hope everybody's had a happy Halloween! Mine was kinda crappy, since we couldn't afford candy for the trick-or-treater's, not to mention I had to work that day, but oh well.

Oh, and did I mention that I've quit TCIM? Yep, I've finally severed that tie, hopefully we won't be seeing each other again for a long time (except to pick up my last paycheck, of course). So, anyway, I've been on the job hunt lately with some very professional looking résumé and cover sheets, all nicely tucked away in their own individual folders. Unfortunately, today I was only able to drop one off at the bank here in Detroit. I didn't know thalobbies's shut down at 3:00 PM, and all of my other résumés were for banks, so I'll just have to go before 3:00 PM tomorrow. It was nice talking to the manager, though. He said in his opinion that I was overqualified for a position with them, but unfortunately they're not hiring at the moment. So, I finished my job hunt by going to the other places I applied and checking on the status of the application, but unfortunately there was no luck. Hopefully by the end of the week I'll have a better job.

On a positive note, I've felt better today. Maybe it's just because I'm not thinking about TCIM all the time anymore. Plus, I'll finally be able to really use my leaf blower tomorrow unless it rains, so yay! Kim, however, isn't doing so well; she's getting another ear infection and I think the stress of our lack of money is finally starting to get to her.

And finally, I've started to learn the DVORAK keyboard layout; it's confusing as crap, but hey, it's designed for speed, not to slow you down like QWERTY is. After I learn it, maybe I can break 100 WPM, that would be sweet.

Site of the day: http://www.opera.com/, a browser that looks nicer and is much faster than Internet Explorer, especially with a web filter. Check it out!

Hello, World! Life sucks, doesn't it? Well, nah, can't complain too much, we all have our ups and downs, although it's been a lot of down lately. When you're at the bottom, though, there's nowhere to go but up! I wish I could actually believe everything I say all the time, because you know when you feel bad, you don't always feel like that. Don't get me wrong; I don't feed great, nor do I feel terrible. I'm at that horribly boring in-the-middle area lately, which is a great advance from my past week. So what if I don't have money? I have a job, and I have food. The bills aren't all paid, and they won't for a while, not unless I stick to the budget that I've been working out. This budget even includes getting a savings account, that way if it's not in my pocket, I won't want to spend it, because I'm too lazy to go to the bank. :P I remember my first savings account with Jennifer. It was a good feeling, because I felt older, I guess you could say, to have this savings account, AND a checking account. It wasn't all fun after some auto-withdrawals pushed me over the limit, and now, I have that debt to pay back, but you better believe me I will! Having this house has done wonders to me and my take on bills and life... I never knew I liked gardening or yard work, but it's actually nice when it's you're own yard, not your parents. It's a little late in the season to really do what I want to, but I'm still having fun with it nonetheless. I actually saw a really nice leafblower/vacuum/mulcher at Wal-Mart for about $70 that I'm looking at getting as a birthday present to myself, since nobody else seems to have remembered it. I figured my dad would have at least sent me a card, and it should be hard for him to forget my birthday, since they're so close together. Don't you just love scorpio's?

Hey, let's see what my horoscope is at http://horoscopes.astrology.com/:
If there's no love in your life, draw strength from the memory of a happier time. Prospective home-buyers consider looking into a new neighborhood. Don't let hunger or thirst blind you to what's healthy.

Don't horoscopes always have a funny way of seeming true? It's hard to tell if they really are sometimes true, or just say something that almost anybody could be going through... Oh well, not much to think about, really.

Anyway, it's not like my birthday sucked. Anna gave me $20 to go to China Star, which is one of my all-time favorite restaurants, however I always seem to leave there miserable because I ate too much. Kim and I went there, spending $19.70. Kim secretly talked to the waiter there while I was getting my plate of food about singing happy birthday to me. Let's just say that was the craziest experience I've ever had. Have you ever seen the movie A Christmas Story, where they go to the Chinese restaurant for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, whatever it was? Remember how the Chinese people sang? That's how they sang to me, except the song was right until they said my name. It came out like "jehr-uh-my," and when they said it, I started to feel a little weird, and looked at Kim, who sure enough was thinking the same thing.

Well, anyways, with the addition of the leaf blower, I have my eyes on one other thing, something nobody probably knew I wanted; I myself didn't know I wanted it until I saw it. A Sonicare toothbrush, costing $108. Kim said she'd go in with me half and half to buy it, and I can't wait to have it so I can clean these freaking nasty teeth. Speaking of health, though, I still need my contacts. These glasses suck and I can't stand it.

Well, I guess that's all for now... Stay tuned for the next edition of BlkFury's Life!